Why I hate the Navitime guy (the collected essays, 1998-2030)

Navitime is a navigational aid that Tokyo-ites can use to find their way around using their blinged up mobile phones. But that’s not important. What’s important is this:

Seriously, who is this guy, and how did he land this gig? He features in a number of Navitime ads which you can find all around the Tokyo subway system. In almost all of them, he wears his helmet and jumpsuit, pointing at stuff and looking suitably foreign and intense.

Hey – I can look suitably foreign and intense too! I have never tried wearing a helmet professionally, but I’d like to think I’d be a quick study. Also, my pointing skills have been previously described as “eerily poignant”.

Of course, I bet he doesn’t have to navigate anywhere other than out of the palatial mansion bought with his ill-gotten billboard loot.  I imagine him roaring with laughter as the royalty trucks back up to his money chute, the avalanche of coins clattering together and bouncing chaotically off his ermine helmet and throne made out of precious gems and shimmering technology.

I hate you, Navitime guy.

Bastard.

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5 thoughts on “Why I hate the Navitime guy (the collected essays, 1998-2030)

  1. That guy reminds me of the Sh*tscared segment on The Late Show:

    Navitime guy: “go on, ask me to spell ‘navigation'”

    Interviewer: “how do you spell ‘navigation’?”

    NG: *long pause sucking in breath*
    “nup, dunno…maybe there’s a silent ‘p’ in there somewhere”

  2. OMG I haven’t thought of the Late Show for a long time.

    You’re right. It does. Great scenario. Seahorse-ily being the interviewer, of course.

  3. Mystery solved! This is the Navitime guy: http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/fd20090426a1.html

    From the article:

    ‘An English-language Google search for “Navitime” reveals a blog entry called “Why I hate the Navitime Guy,” and Moore himself reported that some of his fellow Japan-based foreign actors have been heard to say, “If I ever have to see your f-cking face again, I’m going to f-cking kill you” — something that Moore dismisses, with a smile, as “jealousy.”‘

    Full credit to the Navitime guy for accurately guessing why everyone hates him, in spite of sounding like a nice guy.

  4. Pingback: A quantitative three year blog anniversary « 4000 Miles North

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