We bring you love

So, what political party do you support? Labor? Liberals? Republicans? Democrats? I don’t care. Your party sucks. I’ve got a new party and it rocks:

The Happiness Realisation Party

Wait, what’s that…?

The Happiness Realisation Party

The Happiness Realization Party’s platform promises include: world peace; a unicorn in every house; Polyphonic Spree robes for everyone and, finally; dumping LSD into the water supply to make sure everyone actually believes this will all happen.

Actually, this isn’t your standard case of humorous English translation – the Japanese name, too, literally means “Happiness Realization Party”. They were founded in May this year, and you can read all about them on their website (okay, if you can read Japanese).

According to their site, they’re connected to a 10 million person-strong Buddhist group called “Happy Science“.  According to their Wikipedia entry, Happy Science’s prophecies include:

In 2300-2400 the new continent of Atlantis will be recreated as a result of the United States sinking. After this is complete, Martin Luther and Nichiren will be reincarnated and they will lead a new huge religious movement.

During the years of 2400 through 2500 Jesus will be re-incarnated. Another important event is that the extraterrestrials that visited the Earth in the 1980s return.

You should really read the rest of the prophecies too.  I left some out of this quote because they sounded too wacky.

Back to the secular world, the main platform of the political party is amending  Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution.  Article 9 was introduced with the new Japanese Constitution following the end of World War II, and basically states that Japan may maintain a military only for self-defense.  This is taken to the extent that if you happen to say “the Japanese army”, you’ll be quickly corrected to say “the Japan Self-Defense Forces”.

The Happiness Realization Party, founded on Buddhist values of pacifism, wishes to amend Article 9 so they can go and kick some North Korean ass.  Really, that’s what it says on their web site.  Okay, it doesn’t say “ass”, but you can tell that’s what they were thinking when they wrote it.  They want to loosen some of the strict conditions in the constitution so that they can “defend Japan against North Korean missiles”.

What started as a poster that gave me a chuckle when I was at the local supermarket turned out to be quite the rabbit hole indeed.  My planned 5 minute post has turned into a 1 hour mini-research project, and there’s a lot more to read besides.  Look for an update after I’ve had some more research time.

Alternatively, if they find that I’ve met my maker after having realised what would appear to be a suspiciously excessive amount of happiness, you know who did it and that I knew too much.  Tell the world!

Update: Somebody has already done a great job researching this.  Head over there if you want to bask in the craziness.

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6 thoughts on “We bring you love

  1. I like this bit:
    During this time part of the United States will sink because it angers the gods. Canada and the rest of the Americas are still there, but the states will sink. Just after he makes this prophecy he also states that this is not a definite prophecy, if enough people convert then the states will not sink.

    • I thought that was pretty reasonable. All you need to pledge is your undying soul and you can save America! Saying it’s “not a definite prophecy” is a masterstroke, too – I must remember this for my future… plans.

      This tangentially reminds me of Microsoft new promo for IE8: download IE8 and Microsoft will feed the hungry! (http://www.browserforthebetter.com)

      On the surface of it, this seems like a noble gesture… but how is us downloading a web browser in any way related to helping hungry people? Just go help them already, company with heaps of cash!

      • “not a definite promise” has already had a run, as the famous John Howard “non-core promises”. Anna Bligh runs a variant of these – “non-disclosed strategies and promises” – the sort of promises you disclose only to yourself and the party Inner Sanctum, and tell the electorate after you’ve won.

  2. From the IE8 front page:

    “For every download of Windows Internet Explorer 8 we will donate 8 meals to Feeding America”

    However, the text at the bottom shows that ‘meal’ is a highly loose term, ‘illustrated’ in this case as a little over 14 cents…

    “Only complete downloads of Windows® Internet Explorer® 8 through browserforthebetter.com from June 8, 2009 through August 8, 2009 qualify for the charitable donation to Feeding America®. Microsoft® is donating $1.15 per download to Feeding America® up to a maximum of $1,000,000. Meals are used for illustrative purposes only. Meal conversion is effective until June 30th, 2010.”

  3. Funny, I’ve never actually read the posters until now. I just got hung up on the creepy look on her face and the party name. Now that I know a little about their extensive platform, I can relax and accept the Happiness.

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