So, it turns out I embody metaphors now.

Well, I’m sure a lot of people have tried sashimi:

It’s artfully presented and delicious – and most importantly, raw. That seems to be a mental stumbling block for a lot of people, but it doesn’t actually taste as fishy as you would expect. For me, it’s more about the texture than the taste.

But I guess that’s old hat for a lot of people, so may I present bashimi:

What’s this? Why it’s raw horse, of course! Horse heart, horse fat, horse flesh.

So, do I feel like eating raw horse was a turning point in my life? Yes. Yes I do.

And not a minute too soon

If you were looking for some proof that Japan was a punctual place, may I introduce you to:

I’m sure there might be some very good rationalisation behind the times picked here, but why spoil a perfectly good enigma?

As for the rationalisation behind the whole ‘women only’ cars, that’s quite justified: there are a few unpleasant types called chikan on the subways, but I’ll let you read about that for yourself.

Wherein I am vanquished by the chocolately New World Order

So, either:

• this was originally a typographic mistake;
• it’s just plain quirky;
• there’s a shadowy conspiracy to ensure that this candy was carefully engineered to make my personal purchase guaranteed.

Obviously, Crunky is unfathomably crafty. And tasty.